Spit it Out Saturday

Ok, in an effort to get rid of some of my pent up hostility I'm going to embark on Spit it Out Saturday.  The one day I can get rid of my frustrations from the week - where I can say all those nasty little things I think but never would really say.  Well.. probably never.  As well as any other random, and quite possibly silly/stupid/and or dumb things that popped into my fuzzy little head.

Elevator etiquette:  To my co-workers - Let people off before you get on.  Pretty simple.  You have no reason to plow me over to get on the elevator, it doesn't move *that* fast.  I've learned to stand at the front left corner of the elevator now when I'm coming in to work.  Otherwise I will either never get the chance to get off, or I'll be stampeded.  It's a crush or be crushed world here.  Don't make me get mean.  I will do it.  Unless you give me a snickers ice cream bar.. that might make me forget about it.

Note to self:  When riding alone in an elevator that's not moving - don't panic!  First - check to make sure that the reason you're not going anywhere is in fact not because you're stuck, but actually because you're being horrifcally a.d.d. and forgot to push a button.  If that's not the case, o.k. start panicking and press ALL the buttons.

How to properly walk down a hallway:  It's just like driving down the street.  Please stay to the right.  If you are in a gaggle-f*ck of people and you see someone coming the other direction, don't make them squish up against the wall like a pancake.  That is just unexcusably rude.  Really.

It's also rude to accuse someone of stealing, espeically before even saying hello.  If you're going to call me a thief, without proof, at least say hello first, preferably throw in a "how are you?"  - It's cushions the blow and is less likely to make my head explode.

To the 17.5 horrible drivers this week:  Your license has been revoked.  You must re-complete driver's ed, pass a full eye exam and IQ test before it will be reinstated.

To Dearest:  When I send you a text message asking when we are going to go shopping at Pricilla's I expect a better response than a phone call saying "I'm hungry" and asking me to stop after work and bring dinner home.  Duh.  I mean really.  Duh.