Such a Graced Slacker

Okay you guys I've seriously slacked off, for a  good solid month now - I'm going to be happily and frantically reading up on all of your blogs to see what I've been missing!  I had to take a break to regroup and recommit to not just weight loss, but to putting myself first and getting my life back in order.  More to come on that one...

Thankfully even with my horrid slacking I'm still maintaining that 3ish pound weight loss from last week.  Water, old friend... here I come.

Until then, hope everyone has a wonderful Thursday!!

Coming Out of Hiding

Hey guys!  Sorry I've been MIA for a bit.  I just haven't felt like I've had that much to talk about really.  Other than a short treadmill run last week I haven't had any exercise (other than what I get at work).  I'm still a wussy girl who refuses to run in 96 degree humidity soup.  Dearest is out of town however, so I'll be hijacking his xbox to do a little DDR fun.

Despite the lack of activity and lack of accountability on my eating I've managed to lose three or four pounds.  Last week was painful for me.  Dearest had lost any and all resemblance to any form of schedule since he didn't have to work.  He told me he was going to sleep when he was tired and eat when he was hungry.  Well that's all fine and dandy except he wound up asleep when I was awake, (therefore I felt I couldn't get anything done around the house without waking him), he was awake when I was asleep... which means I didn't get any sleep, for when he's awake he's playing xbox.  In the den.  Right below our bedroom.  Did I mention we don't have carpet and it sounds like you're in the same room?  Right... oh and he doesn't know how to cook.  So the "eat when I'm hungry part" was more of a .. "honey I'm starving will you feed me?.. What?  Yeah I know you've only been asleep for two hours and you have to work today.. but I'm hungry...."  *sigh*

All of this means I had no schedule either.  Even though I had to work.

The good thing that came out of this is that I got to experiment some with what hunger really is.  I think that's what has led to the unexpected weight loss.

Having absolutely no schedule at all whatsoever made me have to think.. how long has it been since I ate last?  What meal should this be?  I know it's 5 a.m. but is this a "midnight snack" or is this breakfast and I'll just take a nap later?  Complication makes me say "screw it I'm not that hungry".  While this did lead to some overindulgences, when I realized I was famished - over all it really helped me to learn to evaluate whether I'm actually hungry, thirsty, bored, or just eating out of habit because it's what time I normally eat.

All of this also led to my stomach shrinking a bit.  So even though I am of a definate schedule now, I eat when I'm hungry, drink when I'm thirsty, and when I'm not.. I pass.  I eat until I start to get full, I now know to just stop.  I don't have to eat a whole box of macaroni and cheese, because you know what?  I like it just as good cold for breakfast, or whatever meal I'll be having next.

I've learned that I don't have to have three set meals in a day.  I don't have to eat every three hours to keep my metabolisim going.  Maybe one day I'll only eat one meal and tomorrow I'll eat eight or nine times, because I never felt like eating a full meal.

I'm okay with that.  I'm learning to change my relationship with food.

Completely Honest

I just ate a pint of Ben & Jerry's.  And I haven't run in probably over a week.

I suck.

Excuses:

1. a.)   It's too hot.  Really too fricken hot.  I'm a wuss, and wusses don't like to run when it's 90 + degrees.

         

b.)  I won't run after dark due to safety reasons.  I run alone, which is brave enough for me.  Running alone after dark I feel is just a bad idea for me.

     

2.  I stupidly bought two pints of Ben & Jerry's at the grocery store because they were buy one get one free.  When Dearest didn't eat his I ate it for him.  This isn't so much an excuse as it is a statement of truth.  

Yeah.  That's all.  Thanks.

The Beginning of a New Ruler... er.. Scale

I think it's time for a new scale.

I'm tired of the one I have now playing it's silly games with my heart.

Yesterday (I'm a daily weigher - yeah I know but it helps keep me on track) I stepped on the scale... "SWEET!  I lost two pounds!  I even had full test soda AND ate dinner at the pizza buffet!  AWESOME!.... That can't be right.  I wonder what I weigh with my clothes off!"  You know what happened?  I took off all my clothes, all my chunky jewelry, and I gained three pounds.  I used the bathroom, gained another pound.

So I proceed to step on the scale about twenty gajillion times over a period of about five minutes.  In those five minutes I weighed six completely different things.  Now I'm wondering how for the past month my clothes have fit better, my stomach is flatter but yet due to some magical evil I have stayed at the exact same weight - to the tenth of a pound.  Damn evil scale.  It lies.

Once I told dearest he snickered at me.  I told him to try it, and what was uttered out of his mouth??  "That can't be right.  There's no way I gained seven pounds in two days!"  Uh huh. "Try it again" I said.  Nudge it with your toe, then get on.  "Yeah!  I just lost four pounds!... Oh wait.. found it".

Uh huh.

The evil scale's tyrannous reign has come to an end.  Today it gets tossed and replaced by it's new, shiny, sweetly (even if painfully) truthful successor.

Apples and Bananas

You know when you really think about that song.. huh.  Yeah.  I guess I'm more of a banana kind of girl, but which ever floats your boat - I say go for it.  Speaking of apples though...

It seems here lately now that the weather has warmed up to a full degree of stifling with a side of air so humid you'd wonder how anyone would ever need a steam facial there is a trend going around of people blogging about hair removal.  Not just any hair removal, but the hair belonging to lady bits.

The accounts of Mrs. Fatass, Drazil, and Drazil's partner in crime, Amy have all had me laughing to tears.  Mainly because the whole time I'm nodding saying uh huh, yeah.... oh really??  I really truly encourage you to go and read all of these posts if you haven't already.  Heck while you're there check out some of their other posts too!

Now here's the disclaimer part.  If you know me personally, have to look me in the eye at least occasionally and are an easy blusher you may want to look away.  Unless you're one of those dear few who there just is no such thing as a TMI.  Bless your hearts.  I love you.  For the rest of you... here we go.

Focu.... what? SHINY!

What is this week's goal?  Focus.  Focus to make the right choices.  Focus on whether I really want the hotdog with slaw and onions and mayo and mustard, and the cheeseburger with mayo and pickle.. it is a small burger after all... and the hot dog alone just isn't enough... should I get the basket of world's most delicious french fries that's the size of my head too?? ... YES I do really want it - but focus.. do I want the self loathing and doubt and bloating that comes with it?? ... yeah not so much.  Do I want a grilled chicken sandwich with baked potato chips and a side of "hey I can still like myself today" and not undo all that progress.  Yeah, I like that choice better.

Then what do you know - I couldn't even eat the chips.  Too full.  Thanks H2O.  Thanks delicious grilled chicken with lettuce and tomato.

All this talk of focusing makes me think of Mallrats - Oh dear Kevin Smith.  How you defined my high school years.

*shakes away wistful look*

Anyway.. what was I talking about?? .. Oh right FOCUS

So that's what I'm aiming for.  Focus on my goals, and why I'm putting things in my mouth.  Am I really hungry, or am I just bored/tired/emotional/habit/becauseit'stimetoeat.

Totally random question - when you call in an order at a restaurant, and go to the counter to pick it up and take it home, do you leave a tip on the credit card receipt?  What is the standard here?

Turning Failures Into Successes

Okay guys, I have a confession to make.  I'm a geek.  Full fledged OMGEE geek.  I even have the tan lines to prove it.  Seems the longer I stick with running the more geek gear I collect.  I don't run "naked".  I run with an ipod, a Garmin wrist top GPS, a Road ID, and today I added a camelbak to the mix.  Yes I'm aware that I look silly.  I have all this crapola and I'm barely out running for an hour.  *sigh* I can't help it.  I try to blame my family.  My brother, bless his heart is a geek too.  He works on computers, he reads, laughs at and enjoys comic strips about physics, and is the root of my geeky-ness.   Dearest is also a geek.  He has a lexicon on Star Trek, collects military "action figures", and spends hours on end on zombie message boards preparing for doomsday.  Hum.  Maybe I'm the normal one....