Coming Out of Hiding

Hey guys!  Sorry I've been MIA for a bit.  I just haven't felt like I've had that much to talk about really.  Other than a short treadmill run last week I haven't had any exercise (other than what I get at work).  I'm still a wussy girl who refuses to run in 96 degree humidity soup.  Dearest is out of town however, so I'll be hijacking his xbox to do a little DDR fun.

Despite the lack of activity and lack of accountability on my eating I've managed to lose three or four pounds.  Last week was painful for me.  Dearest had lost any and all resemblance to any form of schedule since he didn't have to work.  He told me he was going to sleep when he was tired and eat when he was hungry.  Well that's all fine and dandy except he wound up asleep when I was awake, (therefore I felt I couldn't get anything done around the house without waking him), he was awake when I was asleep... which means I didn't get any sleep, for when he's awake he's playing xbox.  In the den.  Right below our bedroom.  Did I mention we don't have carpet and it sounds like you're in the same room?  Right... oh and he doesn't know how to cook.  So the "eat when I'm hungry part" was more of a .. "honey I'm starving will you feed me?.. What?  Yeah I know you've only been asleep for two hours and you have to work today.. but I'm hungry...."  *sigh*

All of this means I had no schedule either.  Even though I had to work.

The good thing that came out of this is that I got to experiment some with what hunger really is.  I think that's what has led to the unexpected weight loss.

Having absolutely no schedule at all whatsoever made me have to think.. how long has it been since I ate last?  What meal should this be?  I know it's 5 a.m. but is this a "midnight snack" or is this breakfast and I'll just take a nap later?  Complication makes me say "screw it I'm not that hungry".  While this did lead to some overindulgences, when I realized I was famished - over all it really helped me to learn to evaluate whether I'm actually hungry, thirsty, bored, or just eating out of habit because it's what time I normally eat.

All of this also led to my stomach shrinking a bit.  So even though I am of a definate schedule now, I eat when I'm hungry, drink when I'm thirsty, and when I'm not.. I pass.  I eat until I start to get full, I now know to just stop.  I don't have to eat a whole box of macaroni and cheese, because you know what?  I like it just as good cold for breakfast, or whatever meal I'll be having next.

I've learned that I don't have to have three set meals in a day.  I don't have to eat every three hours to keep my metabolisim going.  Maybe one day I'll only eat one meal and tomorrow I'll eat eight or nine times, because I never felt like eating a full meal.

I'm okay with that.  I'm learning to change my relationship with food.