The Beginning of a New Ruler... er.. Scale

I think it's time for a new scale.

I'm tired of the one I have now playing it's silly games with my heart.

Yesterday (I'm a daily weigher - yeah I know but it helps keep me on track) I stepped on the scale... "SWEET!  I lost two pounds!  I even had full test soda AND ate dinner at the pizza buffet!  AWESOME!.... That can't be right.  I wonder what I weigh with my clothes off!"  You know what happened?  I took off all my clothes, all my chunky jewelry, and I gained three pounds.  I used the bathroom, gained another pound.

So I proceed to step on the scale about twenty gajillion times over a period of about five minutes.  In those five minutes I weighed six completely different things.  Now I'm wondering how for the past month my clothes have fit better, my stomach is flatter but yet due to some magical evil I have stayed at the exact same weight - to the tenth of a pound.  Damn evil scale.  It lies.

Once I told dearest he snickered at me.  I told him to try it, and what was uttered out of his mouth??  "That can't be right.  There's no way I gained seven pounds in two days!"  Uh huh. "Try it again" I said.  Nudge it with your toe, then get on.  "Yeah!  I just lost four pounds!... Oh wait.. found it".

Uh huh.

The evil scale's tyrannous reign has come to an end.  Today it gets tossed and replaced by it's new, shiny, sweetly (even if painfully) truthful successor.