Busted...

Busted my pants that is. How embarrassing. I was at work yesterday and looked in the mirror in the bathroom and noticed low and behold I had busted my pants right at the seam of the back pocket. Just another testament to the fact that I'm way too fat. My fat clothes are even too tight. How depressing. (Well do something about it right?) I'm trying to get back on track. Even from the weight I had lost I gained more - so from my new start as of almost a week ago I've lost 4.2 lbs. Even that doesn't excite me though because I know I've got so much to lose, and that one day of blowing it will put that hard earned 4.2 lbs right back on. If I had the extra money to spend I'd be finding a weight watchers meeting right now to go to.. but right now I can't afford another $12 a week.

One day last week I even called in sick to work because I was so disgusted with myself and how I looked in my clothes. Not to mention how much my knees and back are hurting... I've got all the reasons to do this... so why can't I make myself do it?